March 08, 2010

I was out with my close girlfriends the other night. We all have two kids under the age of four, so while we’ve dabbled in signing our children up for programs, we haven’t yet faced the juggling act of serious extra-curricular activities. One of the girls was talking about her neighbour’s kid, who has sports (practice or games) every night and on the weekends, and it sparked a discussion on whether being that busy is good for kids.

I immediately thought back to my life at the age of 10. We lived in Bermuda and I was a competitive swimmer and gymnast, and a runner on the cross-country team at school. I had swimming practice before school on Monday, Wednesday and Friday mornings, as well as on Tuesday and Thursday evenings, and early Saturday mornings. Gymnastics practice was Monday, Wednesday and Friday evenings, and on Saturday mornings I would go straight from swimming to gymnastics. Cross-country training was done during school hours. Sunday was my only day off.

It may seem like an absolute nightmare to some of you. But I loved it. I chose it. I wanted to compete in both sports. I was a little bundle of energy and didn’t stop running until I fell into bed at night. My parents never pushed me into any of it. I asked to be in those activities, they supported my choices, and I knew that if I ever changed my mind, I just had to say the word. But I didn’t change my mind. I thrived on a packed and active schedule. And have done since. The only inkling of regret is that my poor mum had to cart me around to everything!

I didn’t miss out socially. I made great friends in both sports, but I also saw my school friends on weekends. I remember having amazing family time, doing activities with other families, and also having quiet time to myself. I don’t recall feeling like I was “too busy.”

Fast-forward to my life now. Not much has changed. I juggle a household, a husband, two kids, my wellness and fitness business, a writing career, my passion for running, and I am co-leader of a weekly mum’s group. My schedule is often booked months in advance. Spending time with family and friends is a priority and I am also careful to clear downtime for myself.

I chose this lifestyle. I continue to choose this lifestyle. And I know, just as I knew when I was a kid, that if I don’t want to do it anymore, I have the power to decide.

So, the next time you pity a child for being carted off to his/her sport at an ungodly time, or for what seems like a good portion of their waking hours, take a moment to think about whether they want to be there.

As long as we’re not pushing kids into activities they don’t want to be involved in, I believe that living an active, full life is healthy. And possible. But only if it’s their choice.


 

Labels/Tags: Annabel Fitzsimmons, MeditatingMummy, ClearSpace Online, active lifestyle, children, busy, sports, choice

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March 01, 2010

Like most Canadian households during the last half of February, ours was tuned in to the Winter Olympic Games. We watched the ups and downs, the brilliant successes, the heartbreaking defeats, and were particularly aware of what a great example these athletes are for our kids.

But you may not have heard of the other big competition that coincided with the Winter Olympics – the Fitzsimmons Candyland Games. While we haven’t had much press, rest assured that, like the Olympics, there has been a lot of nail-biting along with great emotional highs-and-lows in these games.

For those of you who haven’t had the pleasure of watching or participating in a game of Candyland, let me tell you the basic rules.

You are assigned a figurine. You flip over a card from the pile of cards. You move along the colourful Candyland path (kind of like the Yellow Brick Road but in a rainbow version) to whatever colour was on the card you flipped over. The winner is the first person get to the end of the Candyland path. In our case, which is the Dora version of Candyland, the first person to get to the end arrives at a Fiesta. Party!

So simple, you say. Well, yes, yes it is. And it can be mind-numbingly boring when you play it 800 times a day for two weeks straight. But, just as the Olympics brought us lessons on perseverance, courage and strength, I have to admit that Candyland has taught my three-year-old and me a few things.

You see, my darling daughter is fiercely competitive. She can often be heard saying things like, “Mummy, I want to win. I think I’m gonna win. Yep, I’m gonna win. I think I’m beating you. Look, mummy, I’m beating you.” We’ve had meltdowns and tears when she doesn’t get to the Candyland Fiesta first. Admittedly, she comes by her competitiveness honestly. I am competitive. Always have been. I grew up with an older brother, who was good at all sports, I was an athlete, and both my parents were athletes. Harder, faster, stronger was my mindset. Not just in sports, but in all aspects of life. Discovering yoga muted it a little. And although I still feel a competitive pull in my daily life, yoga is one area where I can let that go. After all, competitive yoga is a bit of an oxymoron.

But watching our children develop allows us to look at our own personal traits through a different lens. As I watch this competitive streak in my daughter I am struck by the importance of supporting this characteristic in a positive way. Of encouraging competitiveness alongside other ideas that I didn’t learn or grasp until I was much older. That it is amazing in many ways to be competitive, as long as you understand that winning is not the only result. That you’re not failing if you don’t come first. That it’s far more important to enjoy the game than to focus solely on the outcome. And that, really, competition in any way shape or form is healthy as long as you are enjoying the process.

So, yesterday, when I arrived at the Fiesta party before my daughter and she said (without tears or a tantrum), “Good game, mummy. That was really fun,” my heart swelled a little bit. It was a podium moment of learning.

Of course, it’s natural that the Winter Olympics should offer us the opportunity to teach our children about sportsmanship, but Candyland? I wouldn’t have guessed that. Not in a million years.

Must go shuffle the deck and get the board ready for tonight. Wish me luck.

 

Labels/Tags: Annabel Fitzsimmons, MeditatingMummy, ClearSpace Online, yoga, competitive, sports, Candyland, Winter Olympic Games, athletes, teach, sportsmanship, podium moment

Posted by AnnabelF at 13:18:46 View Comments | Click Here to Comment

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