I Wish I Could But I Can't So You Should!

July 24, 2010

The disadvantage of being the Energizer Mummy is that I'm not allowed to enter all the awesome contests & giveaways Energizer sponsors throughout the year.

 

Like this one: The Ultimate Toronto International Film Festival Experience.  It's a trip for 4 to Toronto, with a 3 night's stay at the gorgeous historic Royal York Hotel, tickets to a festival movie every day of your stay, $1000 spending money, access to the exclusive ET Canada Festival Parties including a guest spot on ET Canada.  I think this is Kelli Daisy's dream come true...

 

There are other perks - really, I'm not complaining - but still, I'd love to be put up and pampered Festival style.

 

I remember as a child my parents getting all glammed up for the Festival premiers and galas.  I'd try and wait up for them, knowing they'd be coming home with swag and stories for days.

 

But no, no pampering for me.  Instead I have to go to Disney.  Which seems like an amazing thing except I'm going on the condition that I run a 1/2 marathon. 

 

21 kilometers.  

 

At 10.

 

PM.

 

Which is passed my bedtime.

 

And which reminds me, I'd better get my shoes on and get going.

 

And going...

 

And going...

 

So while I'm out dying training, please enter the contest I wish I could but I can't so you should.

Tips For Surviving a Family Reunion

July 21, 2010

 

This weekend we had a reunion with a branch of the family we don’t see too often or actually know very well.  In preparation, I turned to Twitter seeking advice.  Apparently the Twitteratti all say the same thing: alcohol.  Lots and lots of alcohol.

 

Normally I might agree, but since this side of the family are teetotallers, that’s not an option.  I had to get a little more creative instead.

 

If you happen to be heading out (dry or otherwise) to an event like this, here are some tips you might appreciate:

 

The racist who wouldn’t come to your wedding because you’re a mixed breed?  Now’s your chance to retaliate.  Keep touching him.  A lot.  For example: touch him on the arm when you’re in conversation, pat his back when you pass by, and always be handy when they’re passing out drinks so you can grab his by the rim as you hand it over.  If by chance it’s a buffet, then you can really go wild: hand out plates and cutlery, ladle out the Ambrosia salad; maybe cough a little on his.  The possibilities are endless.  Odds are, as in my case, he’s moved on to another race to hate so you can breath a little easier.  But do brace your cousin’s husband Ahmed.  Tell him about the thumb in the tonic thing.

 

That relative who always tries to belittle you or just happens to always bring up your failures?  You know, they’re surprisingly easier to ignore than you’d think.  Plus you have the knowledge that a) they’re crazy and b) people actually like you.

 

Your babies will be passed around faster than the aftermath of baked beans.  It’s up to you: you can enjoy the break, or use your children as an excuse to take a break from the festivities and escape to a private room.  Sure, some relatives might wonder about you “nursing” a 6 year old, but to each his own.

 

Think you’ll have nothing in common with these people?  Start mapping out the family tree.  It’s amazing the tangents it can take you on and the memories it can stir up.  You’ll hear stories about your parents you never expected, and that never gets old.

 

Let your gay uncle sneak you a belt of something, and I don’t mean a showtune.  You’ll become co-conspirators because you’re both hiding something from the older generation.   You’re also both being ridiculous, but hey, you gotta do what you gotta do to get through the event.

 

In my case, I knew grandma had left a bunch of negatives and old slides lying around collecting dust.  So I brought a portable film and slide scanner with me, and have spent the past 2 days scanning surprise after surprise.  I found 3 cartons of slides from my in-laws wedding neither of them had ever seen.  The bairn have been in a constant state of amazement because grandpa ”actually had hair!!”  Plus there are some great shots of all those relatives, from their childhoods through teens, and nary a racist in site.