March 09, 2010

Being a parent, as with just about anything else in life, is really about making continuous choices and hoping that you choose right more than you choose wrong. Take last Sunday, for example…

My wife and I had a choice to make about how to spend our day with the family.

The choices were: Take the family to the Toronto Zoo or keep them busy at home and get chores done.

The decision was: We went to the Zoo.

Evaluation: Kids were delirious so we called it a success!

The weather was awesome and the kids had a blast. As the day was ending we decided to head into the gift shop to browse around. We have a membership to the Zoo and we often browse the gift shops but we seldom buy. However, on this day my wife noticed these small plastic Naked Mole Rat figurines that were near the cashier and suddenly she was faced with a personal choice to make.

The choices were: Should she buy 3 Naked Mole Rat figurines for the boys or should she just ignore them and head for the exit.

The decision was: Off to the cash she went! I mean heck, as a member we also get a 10% discount…so there!

Evaluation: According to the kids…mom rocked!!

For some reason the boys took to these things right away! They were coddled and the boys were making plans to give them a bath when we got home. For those who have been to the Toronto Zoo you will recall how there is a bridge over a creek that you cross when you leave the exit and head to the parking lot. Well as we were heading to the car, son #3 decided that he wanted his Naked Mole Rat figurine to see what the creek looked like. As the figurine was being held on the railing, something caused it to slip from my son’s hands and his Naked Mole Rat figurine then fell down into the creek below and disappeared from sight.

Almost instantly my son went into a meltdown that I would say was comparable to what happened at Chernobyl.

It was an accident and my wife and I both realized it. She was just as crushed as he was but for different reasons. All of a sudden we had another unexpected choice to make.

The choices were: Allow this to become a lesson to him on how he should take care of his things or have pity, realize it was an accident and go back to get him another one.

The decision was: I headed back to the gift shop and paid the $1.75 for another Naked Mole Rat figurine.

Evaluation: It seems the boy had been soothed and he swore to be more protective of his new Naked Mole Rat

On the way home my wife told me how Son #1 was being quite the loving Big Brother as he also seemed to be upset by his little sibling’s loss and wanted to comfort him. It wasn’t until hours later that we realized just how much it had upset him too.

Upon returning home the boys filled up the sink in the Powder Room and proceeded to give their new Naked Mole Rat figurine friends a bath. The rest of the evening was uneventful and we even managed to get them to bed a little earlier than normal. I then settled down to catch a bit of the Oscars.

Twenty minutes later, things suddenly and rather dramatically began to change.

Just as the Best Supporting Actor Oscar was being announced, Son #1 came downstairs. He was silent but seemed to be upset. After some gentle prodding from both of us, the floodgates began to open. It seems the shock of losing the first Naked Mole Rat figurine had worn off and reality had struck. #1 son was now wailing and saying how he had grown attached to his brothers Naked Mole Rat and that he felt so bad about the loss. #3 Son then appeared and began to contribute his own sobs and wails to the mix. We were both taken aback by this and were rationalizing on the fly as to how to respond. Once again it was decision making time:

The choices were: Remind him that they were only plastic toys and were not real so that they needn’t feel so bad or work with their grief and help them to get through what they were experiencing.

The decision was: We tinkered with both ideas but wound up going along with their grief. I even suggested that maybe the Naked Mole Rat didn’t slip and fall, but rather he escaped, dove in and returned since he didn’t want to leave. The two were feeding off each other. It wound up lasting for almost 20 minutes before we agreed that the next time we went to the Zoo we’d stop at the bridge and pay our respects to their fallen Naked Mole Rat figurine friend.

Evaluation: Not surprisingly the next morning the two of them said not a word about their evening of grief. They were more concerned that their figurine friends had a good night sleep on the Lego beds they made for them with tissue paper for blankets. Over coffee my wife and I determined that their sudden outburst was about as surreal a parenting experience as we’d ever had and that for the most part our critical decisions of the day worked out for the best. My wife even suggested that it was perfect material for a blog…hence what you’ve just read.

With all that said we both agreed that on our next visit to the Zoo, we may just decide to skip the browsing at the gift shop and not tempt fate again…

Labels/Tags: Eric Novak, Who's Your Daddy, Toronto Zoo, Naked Mole Rats, Choices, Decisions, Parenting

Posted by EricN at 23:19:18 View Comments | Click Here to Comment

March 01, 2010

It seems that, thanks to my lovely wife, the list of occurrences that qualify as a “Hallmark Moment” has just been increased by one.

Over the almost twelve years that her and I have known each other, we have likely exchanged Hallmark greetings, whether they be in paper or electronic format, for just about every occasion one can realistically think of. So you’ll have to imagine my surprise when I turned on my laptop last Friday morning and discovered that the night before she had created a E-card for me and it was waiting to be opened.

When I saw the e-mail, my honest first reaction was a blend between curiosity and fear. I guess guys can’t help but to see something like that which they didn’t expect and immediately fear for their lives that we’d forgotten some momentous occasion in our relationship. However I knew that our anniversary was in October, her birthday was in May, mine is September, I proposed in January, we had our first date in August, Valentine’s Day has passed and our kids had birthdays in May, July and September. There was nothing that I could conceivably think of that was of any significance in our lives that took place at the end of February!

With fear out of the way, my curiosity began to take over. Feeling reasonably safe, I opened the link to see what this was all about. As it was loading I was beginning to actually feel a little excited. You see in our relationship, more often than not it’s been me who has sent the loving note or done the random act of thoughtfulness. Could it be that a new chapter was being turned? Were there some kind words that she wanted to tell me when I least expected to hear it that would make me feel all warm and special inside?!

The E-card began to load. The moment of truth was about to arrive. As it was ready to play, I saw the title of the card…”A Woman’s Remote Control”. I wasn’t sure what to make of it. My instincts were sensing that this was some kind of set up, but I still had faith and I let it play. It ultimately involved 3 scenes.

Scene one: We hear a toilet flush and then see a man in Pajamas heading off to bed. Suddenly a remote appears and is being clicked by a woman’s hand. Automatically the man does an about face and returns to the bathroom so that he can put the toilet seat down.

The sentimental feeling inside of me is beginning to slip away…

Scene two: We see the same man wearing his wacky golf attire and carrying his golf bag, apparently off to play a round with his buddies. Queue the remote – click! He does an about face and re-appears with the vacuum and proceeds to clean.

Yes, I’m a golf nut, but its February…I’m still not getting it, but I’m starting not to like it.

Scene three: Husband walks up to the movie ticket counter. On the marquee behind him are two films…a man’s movie and a chick flick. Suddenly you hear him talk “Hey, let’s see Journey to the Island of Death!” There’s that darn remote again! – click! He walks up to the counter and utters “Two tickets to Tender Kisses, please!”

Well with 4 kids we never go to the movie anyway…so I’m really not getting the point here! What’s this all about??!!

Then came time for the personal message…

“Now go change the furnace filter…please.” Thank you.

I’ve been torpedoed…

My lovely wife - in her admittedly challenging quest to deal with the perils of being married to an often forgetful husband, decided to employ a tactic that had to my knowledge never been tried before: She made it a Hallmark moment!

Was I upset? No. In fact, I’d say my reaction was quite the opposite. I found myself laughing and silently applauding what in reality was a pure stroke of genius! She baited me, hooked me, reeled me in and literally pan fried me for supper! Not only did I go upstairs to commend her on her ingenuity, but damn it, I even changed the filter before I headed up to tell her!!

I was so taken aback by her shrewd skill and quick wit that I Tweeted and Updated it to everyone I knew. Reaction was swift and full of lauding. Suddenly women everywhere were being armed with a new tactic to get their spouses to change the filter, mow the lawn or even…dare we say it, put away their socks! We are talking about a new form of electronic empowerment and guys…take my word for it, even your best defenses will be powerless to defend against it.

Bravo, my dear! The filter is changed, our forced air is a little cleaner and Hallmark as well as every other e-card designer out there, is forever in your debt!

That said…I’m still playing golf when the spring gets here!!

CLICK HERE to see a generic version of the e-card in question.

Labels/Tags: Eric Novak, Who's Your Daddy, Hallmark Moments, E-Cards, Furnace Filters

Posted by EricN at 23:14:41 View Comments | Click Here to Comment

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